Superhero

When I was a kid, I used to dream about becoming a firefighter. Or Batman. Frankly, there's still time for both.

Batman must have a nice life. He lives in a mansion, he can get any woman he wants, he dresses up like a bat. You couldn't ask for more than that. Well, you probably could. I would ask to also dress up as a walrus, for example. Still, it's hard to complain about if you're Bruce Wayne¹.

Sometimes, I think about what life would be like if Jesus and Batman got into a fight. Organized religion would completely fall apart, because it's easy to attain followers by saying "Jesus died for your sins", but it's a lot harder if you had say "Jesus died getting his monkey ass whooped by Batman"². And really, that's the only possible outcome of a Jesus vs. Batman death match. I don't see Jesus' superpower of turning bread into body being a factor at all. Batman would take his batarang and light up Jesus' world.

Yeah, I'm probably going to hell. Luckily, I believe that Batman can save me.

¹ Check the technique.
² Although, I imagine, rosary beads with Jesus being nailed to the Bat signal would be a giant hit.