Fishscale

It's the dead of winter, and the days just seem to be getting colder and colder. I forgot my hat at home today, which is not good, because my hat is the leading performer in making sure my head is warm. As my ears started to freeze over and fall off, I thought of the upcoming summer and how it seems so far away, but the good news is that it will be here before we all know it. I decided that this is going to be the best summer of all time, a summer to remember and will be talked about. Because this summer, I am going to catch a fish and make it my pet.

Why not just buy a fish at a pet store? That is a question that some may ask, and that is a question that I am not going to answer. Why would you eat in a restaurant if you could just go hunting? Why would you buy a fur coat if you could kill a mink and skin it with your teeth? These questions are stupid.

I'm not really good at fishing, mostly because I'm impatient and because fishing poles are complicated to me. So that I will take my boat and attach a net to it, and then just ride around for awhile. Then when I catch a fish, I'm going to stare deep into its soul. By reaching in and looking into the fish's being, I will come up with a name for the fish, which will likely be Frank.

I'm going to keep Frank in my shower, which is also conveniently a bathtub. I'll just fill it up with water and drop my fish in there. There's a lot of space for exercise and travel. It's just a good environment for him. A good environment for any fish, I say.

What about showering, you ask? That's a silly question. Fish don't take showers! Golly, imagine a fish taking a shower. What a laugh!

When my mother had fish, she would feed it flakes that smelled like awful. I used to feel sorry for her fish, because I didn't see how that was at all nutritious. I know that if I had to eat orange flakes once a day, every day, I would not be a happy and healthy camper. Which is why I am going to feed Frank a steady diet of grilled chicken, beans, and wild rice.

I feel like Frank and I are going to good friends.