Harry Potter

True story, every time a Harry Potter book comes out, I dress like a wizard¹ and buy the book. Then I stay up and finish the book in one night². And when I finish, I think to myself "Man, that JK Rowling has done it again. She makes up stories about wizards and evil snakemen and gets paid billions for it. I wish she was my mother."

Daniel Radcliffe, the kid who plays Harry Potter in the movies, had an interview in Newsweek. I liked this part of the interview.

I think he has what a lot of people after the Holocaust had, which is survivor’s guilt. I think he thinks he should have died rather than Cedric [Diggory, who was killed by Voldemort in “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.”] Cedric was nothing to Voldemort, and so Harry feels, “I’m the one who should have been taken.”

I like this analysis, because I like history. Like Radcliffe did with Potter, I sometimes liken my own experiences with moments in history. For instance, when I was younger, my mom would get mad at me for getting too many detentions, and she would take away my Super NES as punishment. Sometimes, I am angry at her, but then I realize that she was doing what the colonists did to the Native Americans in the late 18th/early 19th century. The Native Americans were getting out of line, so the colonists had to take away their land as punishment. Same principles. Yes, I know that this analogy is flawed. My mother never gave me blankets of small pox during her heist, nor did she build oil refineries on my Super Nintendo....

...I was going somewhere with this, but I'm stopped to watch Monday Night Football and I came back to this and forgot the point I was trying to make. I don't think there was one. I'm stumped. I was a better writer a year ago. The only reason I'm posting this is because I like the joke I made about oil refineries on my Super Nintendo. Man, that joke is brilliant. It's the kind of thing I would find funny and no one else would. And that's what makes it funny. At least to me. I realize I'm making it less funny by talking about how funny it is. Funny.

Anyway, here's a picture of Hermione getting drunk.



¹ This isn't true, I don't dress like a wizard. Unless there are wizards who wear sweatpants and hoodies to the Borders. Then yes, I dress like a wizard.
² This is true, I read ridiculously fast. That is my superpower.