Family Ties

A lot of conservatives are angry at the ad that Michael J. Fox made supporting stem cell research and Missouri Democratic Senate candidate Claire McCaskill. In the ad, Fox, shaking due to the effects of Parkinson's disease, urged citizens to vote for Amendment 2 to the Missouri state constitution, which would provide constitutional protections for embryonic stem cell research.



The ad is already legendary, being compared to the infamous Lyndon Johnson's "Daisy" ad from the 1968 election or the lesser known "Dirty Liberal Cripple" ad, which Alfred Mossman Landon made about Franklin Roosevelt in the 1936 election. Noted conservative pundit and all-around fat shit Rush Limbaugh said that Fox was "either off his medication or acting," Patricia Heaton, Jeff Suppan, and the guy who played Jesus also launched a counter-ad against stem cell research.

I don't see why people are angry at Michael J. Fox. He has Parkinson's disease, and if stem cell research is conducted and successful, there may be a cure for a disease that affects millions of people and families across America. I can sympathize with Fox, because if I had AIDS, and I found out that rabbit organs would help cure my disease, well, let's just say that Thumper would be fucked. People need to understand where he is coming from. I didn't hear anyone criticizing of Rush Limbaugh when he was taking 50 oxycontin pills a day because he's a fat drug addict. You see, I was swimming on the day news broke about Rush being a fat pill popper, and I got water in my ears and was unable to hear anyone for days and days. By the time my hearing came back, the news cycle had passed.

Stem cell research has the potential to save many lives and cure many diseases. It isn't a guarantee, but we won't know that unless we try. It isn't something to be afraid of, it is something that should be embraced. If I was a conservative, there are more other things to be frightened of...

...Like Michael J. Fox's ability to travel back in time and change the course of history.




That's right, time travel is a much more frightening cause that Michael J. Fox is prominently involved in. He's best friends with Christopher Lloyd, the Q.A. Khan of time travel, who seems very comfortable hanging out with a guy half his age. Like Kahn, Lloyd is involved in smuggling nuclear materials, like plutonium. PLUTONIUM! Do you trust weapons of mass destruction in the hands of a time traveler like Michael J. Fox...




He has access to a car, a Delorean that can travel back to the past, and back to the future. He also has the ability to play guitar and rock and roll. If you think Michael J. Fox rocking back and forth in a campaign ad is scary, imaging him rocking to some Chuck Berry songs in front of a bunch impressionable teenagers from the 1950s...




You can't trust time travel. And you can't trust Michael J. Fox...




Michael J. Fox. Wrong on time travel. Wrong for America.