Snow in New York

Snow in New York is one of the most misrepresented aspects of the city in movies, film, or any other work of fiction. Along with Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and Eskimos, it is one of the greatest lies that is continually perpetrated throughout the world. New York City is known as one of the finest cities in the world, a fine place to live, a fantastic place to work, a wonderful place to visit. And all of those assumptions are true, as long as the sun is out. If the sky is dark grey, and the temperature drops below 30, New York becomes a place that should be feared.

In most stories, snow in New York looks majestic, as if God laid down a white blanket on one of the most beautiful cities in the world. In a movie, you might see shots of Central Park or Rockefeller Center, people are ice skating, children are laughing and playing on this cold, heavenly powder, couples are holding hands, and hey, even the Mayor comes out to mingle with the people in his city. Maybe one of the kids throws a snowball that knocks the Mayor's hat off, and everyone has a laugh. For people who have never been to this city, snow in New York may seem like something that needs to be experienced. Unfortunately for them, that idea may as well be science fiction.

In reality, snow in New York is godawful. In the outer boroughs, you have a chance at seeing a pristine white landscape. It is rare, because at least in Queens, the residents refuse to curb their dogs, but it's possible. In certain parts of Brooklyn, Queens, Staten Island, or The Bronx, there might be some corner where the landscape is a fresh coat of white. In Manhattan, forget it. The snow somehow turns brownish, sometimes gray, literally as soon as it hits the ground. How this happens, I don't know, but walking around the city when its snowing is like getting hit in the face with a sign that says "Goddamn, Manhattan is a grimy place". At the end of each sidewalk, the brown/gray snow turns into a toxic slushy that floods into the street. You have do your best impersonation of an Olympic hurdler in order to cross the intersection. God forbid if you step into the toxic slushy, because your pants will be soaked up to your knee. You will contemplate amputation while riding the subway.

A more realistic movie set in a snowy New York City would have children crying when they step into the toxic slushy, their parents screaming in slow motion when they realize what has happened. A woman could fall on the ground after slipping on the brown/gray sidewalk snow, dragging her boyfriend down as well, and the two of them end up having a nasty fight because their clothes are now ruined. There could be a scene of the Mayor looking out from his office as he watches the citizens brave the cold. They are marching grimly, wishing and praying for a better tomorrow. The Mayor would bitterly remark to an aide that the better tomorrow would never come, because the next day weather report is calling for a mix of sleet and freezing rain.

Now that would be a gritty and realistic portrayal of New York. I would walk through snow to see that movie.