Home Run Record

Barry Bonds is going to break the All-Time Home Run record. As I write this, it is the bottom of the 6th inning, game tied 1-1, runner on first with no outs. Bonds is 0-2 with a walk, and is 6 batters away from his next and possibly final at-bat for the game. I will finish writing this before that at-bat, but it's possible that this post will be outdated, because Barry Bonds will stand atop the record books as the All-Time Home Run King.

A lot has been said, but I hope that Barry breaks the record soon. Not because he deserves it, or because it's time that America and the baseball world comes to terms with the fact that a steroid user is going to Home Run King. But because it's 12:12 in the evening, and I'm really tired and should go to bed, but I can't go to bed because I feel that I need to witness #756. Really, he needs to do me a favor and just hit the motherfucking ball as far as he can because I don't think I can take staying up close to 1:00 every single night.

It's now the bottom half of the 7th and Bonds is the 4th batter due. I'm bad at live blogging, but I'll think I'll give it a shot.

12:22 - Rajai Davis is up, just fouled away a pitch, he takes a pitch for a ball. Nats are warming up two pitchers in the bullpen.

They just showed a shot of Barry, his head is enormous.

Davis just popped up.

12:23 - The Nationals pitcher, John Lannan, looks terrified. Of course, the announcers are talking about how composed and poised he is. Maybe I'm bad at reading people.

Omar Vizquel is the batter. He just took a strike for a 2-1 count. The announcers are describing Vizquel as a throwback defensive player, which is basically code for "This guy can't hit for shit"

12:25 - Omar walks. Barry is on deck. Randy Winn is the batter and just sliced one foul.

12:26 - Ball and a strike on Winn. ESPN2 is doing the 24 gimmick where they show four different scenes at the same time. One is of Winn/Lannan, one is of Barry, one is of Barry's son, and one is of Jack Bauer.

12:27 - Winn flies out and Barry is up! He has been getting the special guest announcer introducing him and the entrance music all night. Everyone else in the game must feel like a bunch of punks.

12:28 - 2-0 already, they're gonna walk the motherfucker. Fuck.

12:29 - BIG ASS SWING BY BARRY BUT HE MISSES. Wow, he tried to crush that. I think I felt the bat breeze by my head.

Bonds strikes out swinging.

Fuck this. I'm going to bed.