Big as a Shaq

Watching the NBA Finals, I've come to learn about an exciting new show that is coming out on ABC called "Shaq's Big Challenge". It's about basketball legend Shaquille O'Neal and his quest to get a bunch of overweight kids into shape. In reality though, it's a vehicle to explore and educate about the dangers of childhood obesity.

I, for one, am glad that Shaq is willing to devote his time for a good cause. He should be commended, because, let's face it, fat kids are dangerous. For example, they are always trying to steal my ice cream. I go, "Get away Bluto!" and Bluto says "Me hungry!", slaps my face, and takes the delicious treat away from me. And then I go home and cry silently in my room.

Actually, I think it would be a great if two or three episodes in Shaq just said "Fuck it" and started eating a bunch of hamburgers with the kids. It would be great if Shaq ate a kid. Just picked up one of those little porkers and ate him. And then slam dunked a basketball while wearing Reebok and drinking Pepsi.

That's entertainment.