Close calls

My favorite Shakespeare play is Macbeth, followed closely by Julius Caesar or probably Othello.

Anyway, I was getting on the subway after work, when I hear someone yell "You better watch yourself, I will slap you!" And I turned, and there was a fat black woman looking in my direction. And for a moment, I was petrified, because I only have two fears in life, a. Werewolves and 2. Angry fat black women. I don't think I have to explain myself. Both are vicious creatures when provoked, and both would eat me alive without hesitation or chewing.

I weighed my options and thought maybe I should just apologize or say "excuse me". Or maybe I should just tell her to fuck off, because I was pretty sure I didn't do anything. Or maybe I should just run away like a little girl. I thought about it for a moment before deciding on the third option.

It turns out, she was talking to the much thinner black woman standing right next to me. This woman also moonlights as the bravest person in the world, because she called the angry fat black woman a bitch. I'm paraphrasing, but I believe her words were, "Shut up Bitch!"

I braced myself, ready for the angry fat black woman to devour the other woman whole, but instead she laughed, then the thin black woman laughed, and we all laughed. It turns out they were friends, and then they proceeded to talk very loudly about pizza. It was a close call.

What does this have to do with Shakespeare? Nothing.