People I Admire (part 46)

I made a post over the summer expressing my admiration for legendary director and boogeyman, M. Night Shamagakhlahahn. I haven't made one in awhile, so today marks part 46 of an ongoing list of people I admire. Today's admirable person is pop superstar Justin Timberlake.

First, a little background, Justin Marlon Timberlake (I write his middle name, because I feel that middle names make people sound important) was first part of the Mickey Mouse Club, which also featured future pop sensations such as Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera. In this club, he and the other mousekiteers would do stuff like sing about mice and probably about ducks. And at the end, they would assure the audience that they would see them soon. Why? Because they liked you! M...O...U...S...........E.

Eventually, he would grow up to join the pop group, N Sync, who sang the song "Bye Bye Bye" and a bunch of other songs I can't remember. They did have a bunch of #1 hits, and I know that I heard each and every one of them a million times, but I can only remember one of their songs off the top of my head and I'm too lazy to look the rest of them up. That might sound crazy, but it ain't no lie, baby bye bye bye.

Timberlake left N Sync and started a solo career, and that's all fine and good. Some of his songs are okay, he brought sexy back, and that's great. But that's not why he's an admirable person. Justin Samuel Timberlake is a person to admire because after he broke up with longtime girlfriend Cameron Diaz, immediately hooked up with Scarlett Johansson, and within a couple of weeks managed to nail Jessica Biel. And all this all happened in the last month.

There are more important things in the world, obviously. There's a war in the Middle East, Global Warming threatens our way of life, Anna Nicole Smith died and I have to raise her child. And there are people doing great things. Barack Obama could become the first black presidential candidate for a major political party, Martin Scorsese might finally win an Academy Award. But Timberlake pulling both Scar-Jo and Biel in the same month? I can't think of an accomplishment that I'm more impressed by. There are no analogies for how incredible that is. I want to hop on a jet to California, find out where he lives, and drive to his house just so I can give him a high five.

And it's really great, because Justin Ishmael Timberlake is on pace to set all sorts of records as far as nailing red-hot Hollywood stars are concerned, while his ex-girlfriend, Britney Spears, is chainsmoking cigarettes and taking care of two redneck kids with Paris Hilton. Britney, if I remember correctly, cheated on Justin while they were living together, and when he found out he swore revenge. And Justin got his revenge. Justin nailed the two hottest stars in Hollywood, while Britney morphed into the fat redneck tramp she was born to become. That's enough evidence to make me believe that Timberlake is some sort of voodoo master, and he gave Britney her just desserts (judging by how she's looked recently, Britney also had seconds.)

I follow celebrity stories, mostly because I like to be informed about anything and everything, but I can't say that I care about anything that happens to any of them. Regardless, I'm really interested to see what (or who) Justin Muhammad Timberlake does next. Anything seems possible, really.

Bravo Justin. Bravo.