Icy Hot

I have a stiff neck, and that had put me in a bad mood because that makes my back and my neck hurt very much whenever I move. However, I stole some Icy Hot from my mother and rubbed it on my back and my neck, and that has lifted up my spirits tremendously. The burning yet cooling sensation that is currently running up and down by neck has made me forget about the pain, and now all my thoughts are focused on burning yet cooling sensations. If I had access to some painkillers and some vodka, I could really throw a party for myself. It would be like Christmas, only instead of giving birth to Jesus, Mary gave birth to a dual action topical pain reliever that gets icy to dull the pain and then gets hot to relax it away.

I can now understand why people wish to become baseball pitchers. It is because they get to use icy hot on their pitching arms after a game. I imagine that my injury will heal within the next day or two or three. That makes me a little sad. Which is why I am going to learn how to throw 95 mile-per-hour fastballs and throw about 100 of them every day in the park.

I no longer fear becoming old. My grandmothers often get back pain and arm pain, and I assume my mother and father do too, because they are old as well. I used to feel sorry for them, but not any longer. They get to feel the tingling sensation of Icy Hot all the time. I don't have that luxury. I'm young and healthy and only get pains when I sleep wrong or carry things incorrectly or fall down stairs. This sucks.

I wish I was 73 years old.