The Most Important Post Ever

It's a question that many have been asking for decades, centuries even. It's a contest that is long overdue, a tournament that needs to take place. It's the most important discussion that anyone can have.

I am talking about, of course, what is the best letter in the alphabet?

A lot of time and research and study has been put into this. I think it's safe to argue that this may indeed be the definitive answer to the eternal question, what letter reigns supreme?

And here we go.

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

R, P, and K are eliminated, because if you think of it, they are both incomplete Bs. R is missing the line at the bottom, P is missing the bottom curve, and K is missing the lines at the bottom and the top. F is also a E with a line missing at the bottom. L is an E without the top AND middle lines. H is an A with the line missing at the top. Terrible. They're out.


ABCDEGIJMNOQSTUVWXYZ

W is out, because it is just two Vs squished together. Unoriginal. V is also out, because although W is two Vs, it isn't called "Double V", it's called "Double U". This is because V is an inferior letter.


ABCDEGIJMNOQSTUXYZ

G has an incomplete line in the middle of its shape. Q also has an incomplete line that should be going through the belly of the O. C is also an incomplete O, and U is an upside down C. These letters are empty inside, and therefore do not deserve to be included.


ABDEIJMNOSTXYZ

I is just a line, and T is a line with a hat. X are just two sideways lines put together, and Y is a line with its hands in the air. J is a line with a missing foot. These letters are dumb.

ABDEMNOSZ

M and N are nice letters, but if you say the alphabet really fast, that particular part is difficult. E is essentially a sideways M, so if you eliminate M, you have to take out E. Plus W was already thrown out, which is an upside-down M or E. Really, those letters should have been tossed paragraphs ago. It's just science.

ABDOSZ

S and Z are mirror images of each other. And D is just an O with a flat surface on the left. I like the way they look, but they're all completely unoriginal.

They all need to go.

AB

When I was in school, I saw a lot of Bs. I've gotten close to the letter. The letter B is my friend.

But when it comes down to it, B is just two Ds stacked on top of one another. If you get rid of D, then you have to get rid of B.

Therefore, the best letter on the planet is the letter A.

A