Mom and the PSP

Fun fact: My mom is a gadget freak. She likes to try out and sometimes buy the latest in technology to keep up with the times.

Fun fact #2: My mom knows nothing about using anything technological. A couple of days ago, I was sitting around at home, bored, so I ordered a movie from On-Demand. Mom watched as I did that, and wondered how I was able to order a movie without calling the cable operator. I explained to her that with digital cable, you can order movies by just pressing a few buttons. She then asked if she had digital cable.

She's had digital cable for five years.

Fun fact #3: I got a PSP for Christmas. I've gotten a couple of games, but I've been devoting my time to playing Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories. As many know, the Grand Theft Auto games might be the most violent games in existence. Half the missions involve murder of some kind, and it's possible to just run around, shooting random pedestrians on the street for no reason whatsoever, and then get into

My mom wanted to try the game out.

Here are the highlights:

Immediately after she starts the game: "How do I shoot people? I want to shoot the enemy."

Trying to figure out how to move the character: "He's running into the wall."

After figuring out how to shoot people: "Oh my god, there's blood!"

After running out of bullets and picking up a baseball bat: "Oh, now he's got a, what do you call that?"

Cops start shooting at her: "Oh my god, they are shooting the man, what do I do?"

After dying: "Oh my god, he died." (Reading the screen) "Wasted."

She got bored of murdering random people in Vice City and started on Star Wars: Battlefront. It took her five minutes to figure out how to start the game.

Finally, here's a conversation we had about the PSP.

Mom: Why did you want this PSP again?
Me: It gives me something to play on the train.
Mom: Oh my god.
Me: What?
Mom: Don't they kill people for these PSPs? Remember the guy who got shot because of an iPod?

And because my mom thinks I'll get killed for playing a PSP on the train, pretty much means that I'm not going to get killed for playing a PSP on the train. In fact, I'm probably not going to get killed at all. Actually, I think this means that I'm never going to die. There's a chance that I'll live forever.

UPDATE: Just as I posted this, my mom reeled off these quotes in the span of five minutes.

"This game is really good...I don't even understand it!"

"Where is the command post? I just captured something awhile ago!"

"These are all the computers...I'm trying to shoot! I don't know what I'm doing, I just shoot everything I see."

"Oh forget it. I'm going to sleep, I don't know how..."