English 101

Yesterday, we received a note from the evil landlord about the bug-spraying procedure, and I was a little suspicious because the letter was in perfect English. It made me wonder about the poor English professor this fiend kidnapped and forced, by the threat of a loaded gun to the head, to write a grammatically correct letter to his tenants. I hope he's okay.

What if my landlord just pretends to have a Greek accent and limited English speaking abilities? What if he's actually fluent in all languages and just uses the fake immigrant persona in order to conduct covert operations against courier companies such as Fed Ex? What if Verbal Kint is actually Keyser Soze? What if there isn't a Santa Claus?

Oh no, I've said too much.