Pucker up

My roommate, Manny, is known for saying dumb things. He's not only known for saying dumb things, he's known for saying gay things. One time, he said that he went to a gay bar. Another time, he said that the "guy assistant" on Entourage was hot. And there are countless other examples. Most of the time, the gay things he says can be logically explained. The gay bar could be mean that he went to a bar that was not fun at all. The guy assistant was because he forgot to use an apostrophe in his sentence. Manny isn't gay, he just says stupid things.

Or at least, that's what we thought.

Tonight, I was watching 24, the award winning Fox series starring Kiefer Sutherland as Agent Jack Bauer. During one of the commercial breaks, I found that I was thirsty. You see, I was eating Tortilla Chips, and the eating of said chips made me parched. So I went to the kitchen, grabbed the Brita and poured myself a glass of refreshing water.

And Manny walked into the room.

Manny: "Pucker up, Gentlemen."

Me: What the fuck, did you just say pucker up gentlemen?

Manny: Don't ask.

Me: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! You just said pucker up gentlemen? Hahahahahahahahaha!

Tarik, after hearing my laughter, ran into the room.

Tarik: Wait, did you just say "pucker up gentlemen"?

Manny: I'm not even going to try and explain myself.

Me: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Tarik: You said, "Pucker up gentlemen."

Manny: Yeah, everyone knows I'm a dumbass.

Tarik: See, I don't get it. What would possess anyone to say that? Why would anyone even think about saying that?

Me: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Manny: Yeah yeah. I was thinking about this war movie, and the guy was saying this to the soldiers.

Tarik: So was this general gay?

Manny: No, he was in the army.

Tarik: Right, because no one in the army is gay.

Manny: No, it was just a saying.

Tarik: I don't get that, why would he say that?

Manny: I think he meant that he wanted the soldiers to pucker up their assholes.

Me: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Tarik: What? So when you said "Pucker up gentlemen" you were talking about puckering up assholes?

Me: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Manny: No, He meant that they were going to do something dangerous.

Tarik: Just so you know, that is the gayest thing I've ever heard. That is gayer than when you said you went to the gay bar. That is gayer than when I saw two guys making out on the subway last night.

Me: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

And I'm still laughing.