If I see you again, I'll crack your head

"I know the story lines for the final eight, and I am absolutely positively certain that when the curtain comes down on 'Sopranos,' the vast, vast, vast majority of people will say it's one of the great things of all time."
--HBO CEO Chris Albrecht

Truer words have never been spoken. I'm not even being sarcastic. The only true words that come close are "Can't we all just get along?" by the Reverend Rodney King Jr. and "I want to eat his children!" by Mike Tyson.

HBO announced that the final 8 episodes are getting delayed until next March because James Gandolfini crashed his bike and needs knee surgery. That seems bad until you remember that the wait between seasons 5 and 6 was 21 months. The wait this time is 9 months from now. And 9 months is nothing in Sopranos terms. I could do that standing on my head. It's like a couple of days here.

If you watched the show, you'll probably notice that I sprinkled a bunch of Sopranos quotes here and there throughout this post. If you don't watch the show, well, you better get on that shit. ASAP. Get HBO On Demand, rent the DVDs on Netflix, steal it from your Italian neighbor. Seriously, it's one of the best things ever.

It's been a little more than a months since the last episode, and I'm already going through slight withdrawls, so here's my ten favorite lines of dialogue from The Sopranos. I'm probably forgetting a ton of them, but I figure all the quality ones are on the internet anyway and these are some of the best.

10. Phil Leotardo: We're from Alcoholics Anonymous.
Joanne Moltisanti: What's your names?
Phil Leotardo: Well, we're anonymous.

9. FBI Interrogator: Your tenure as boss was a short one. Actually, it was unusual in several ways. Let me put this to you as simply as I can. You can avoid sentencing on these charges if you will testify that in fact, you were not the boss of North Jersey, that in fact, your nephew Anthony Soprano was and is. That he de facto controlled your capos with the backing of two of the New York families communicating through their emissary, John Sacrimoni. We want Johnny Sack. But more than him, we want Mangano and Teresi.
Uncle Junior: I want to fuck Angie Dickinson, let's see who gets lucky first.

8. Lilliana Wosilius: Who wrote the star spangled banner?
Stasiu Wosilius: Martin Luther King.
Lilliana Wosilius: Stasiu...you know this.
Stasiu Wosilius: I want to eat.
Lilliana Wosilius: Francis Scott Key.
Stasiu Wosilius: Kurva Tvaya Mach (Fuck his whore of a mother)
Lilliana Wosilius: What holiday was celebrated for the first time by the American colonists?
Stasiu Wosilius: Martin Luther King.

7. Vito Spatafore: I could probably get a letter from my doctor.
Tony Soprano: A note from your doctor saying you don't like to suck cock?

6. Adriana La Cerva: There's something you should know. A long time ago, years ago, I had a medical procedure. It was before we met. My uterus got pierced.
Christopher Moltisanti: Both of 'em?

5. Tony Soprano: I had a dream I fucked your brains out. Right on that desk, and you loved it.
Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Well you threw that at me like a rock.

4. Ralph Cifaretto: (on phone) Mrs. Marianucci Gaultieri?
Nucci Gaultieri: (on phone) Yes?
Ralph Cifaretto: Hi, this is Detective Mike Hunt, Beaver Falls, Pennsylvania police department. You have a son Peter Paul?
Nucci Gaultieri: Oh, my God! What happened?
Ralph Cifaretto: He's alright, ma'am, but I'm afraid he's in a little trouble. We found him in a public men's room in Lafayette Park. I don't know how to put this delicately...he was sucking a cub scout's dick.
Nucci Gaultieri: What? No, it's a mistake.
Ralph Cifaretto: Ma'am, I wish that was all, uh, but I'm afraid we had to have emergency surgery performed upon arrival at headquarters, after discovery of a small rodent in the rectal passage.
Nucci Gaultieri: OH, MY GOD!
Ralph Cifaretto: A gerbil, ma'am. Uh, the county does not cover medical procedures deemed caused by criminal sexual activity. Section four, paragraph fifteen. We'll need an insurance number.
Nucci Gaultieri: Oh, Madonn'! I have Blue Cross, Blue Shield. Is that all right?
Ralph Cifaretto: Ma...Ma'am, c-could you hold on for one second, I have the hospital on the other line.

3. AJ Soprano: So what? No fucking ziti now?

2. Livia Soprano: Did you wear your safety belt?
AJ Soprano: Yeah.
Livia Soprano: Because there was an article in the paper the other day about a bunch of teen-agers from out near the delaware water gap. They overcrowded their car, it hit a tree, and it incinerated. And they got trapped. People could hear 'em screaming, they couldn't get out. The safety belts did it, buckled them in.
AJ Soprano: See, that's what I mean. What's the purpose?
Livia Soprano: Of what?
AJ Soprano: Being... Here on our planet. Earth. Those kids are dead meat. What's the use? What's the purpose?
Livia Soprano: Why does everything have to have a purpose? The world is a jungle. If you want my advice, Anthony, don't expect happiness, you won't get it, people let you down. And I'm not naming any names, but in the end, you die in your own arms.
AJ Soprano: You mean alone?
Livia Soprano: It's all a big nothing. What makes you think you're so special?

1. Tony : It's a bad connection so I'm gonna talk fast! The guy you're looking for is an ex-commando! He killed sixteen Chechen rebels single-handed!
Paulie: Get the fuck outta here!
Tony: Yeah. Nice, huh? He was with the Interior Ministry. Guy's like a Russian green beret. He can not come back and tell this story. You understand?
Paulie: I hear you. (to Christopher) You're not gonna believe this.He killed sixteen Czechoslovakians. Guy was an interior decorator.
Christopher: ....His house looked like shit.